The following has been archived from my blog on Livejournal.com:
---------------------
January 22, 2005
---------------------
Downtime
Here's the downtime, once again. I'd been going to school ever since I could remember, and now I'm done. Well, that's kind of relative seeing as though the Colleges and Universities here never actually stop begging for your money. See, I've met my requirements for graduation, but they are still holding my diploma hostage until I pay fifty bucks for a graduation ceremony that I don't want to attend. Also, they want me to take an "academic profile" exam so that they can evaluate how they did. Well, since I feel as if it is a waste of my time to take a standardized test that doesn't help me in any way, I'll probably just mark everything "a" or draw chrstmas trees like in that silly urban legend. In the end, they will only learn what I already know: They can kiss my ass.
But enough of this minor dwelling.
Downtime once again. It's like the part of the christmas holidays when one is staring down the neck of the umpteenth bottle of beer, listening to the last little bit of chrstmas cheer on the radio, on the television, or perhaps just in the sound of the wind through the trees. Was it worth it? Yeah, sure it was. But the worth isn't in the coming together but rather in the release, the time well spent in thought, the downtime. It's the moment when all you can hear from the people around you is the sound of their breath, and knowing that for the next few minutes you are about as alone as you have ever wanted to be without actually being on the moon or atop an Icelandic mountaintop. But then there's that familiar creak of someone's knees as they pop from getting up off the couch. Your neck cocks to the left a bit to hear better, perhaps listening to see if the noises come closer or if they are just getting up to take a piss before they go back to the couch to snooze off the rest of the evening's morsels of turkey. I could only hope that I can stay in my little encapsulation of the mind for a moment longer. If I concentrate hard enough on the moments, they will last longer. Minutes become tens of minutes, and seconds become like minute eternities. But it's all too familiar, but pleasant in some way. It's the moment when I find my peace of mind. I get to sit down and sort out the things in my life, and reflect upon the day's preceedings. It's that downtime, and I cherish it. But it's the downtime that also helps us to realize or maintain ourselves.
So here I am, weaving my way through the livejournal for some unknown reason. Perhaps for release. After all, that's all we're probably trying to find from time to time, however infinitely small or insignificant it may seem on the surface. We're all looking for some kind of downtime, however we define it or picture it. However it weaves itself in our dreams, appearing as the knight in shining armor or the reaching of one's goals. It's downtime -- the moment before the moment of release, the time when you can sigh and smile to yourself for your accomplishments and effort. You can say to yourself, "good job" or "that was good". Well, pat yourself on the back, and enjoy your downtime. That's what I believe I will try to do.
--------------
Invino Veritas
Archive Created 2/13/12
EOF
No comments:
Post a Comment