Today began with a contemplative mood and this mood has persisted throughout the morning to this very time. As it happens often enough, I am confronted by the question of moral existences. Life has a funny way of pesenting me with opportunities of relfection such as these. I think this mood actually started last night, actually. You ever get a sudden epiphany that something about you becomes blindingly apparent all at once, and either you react with a sort of startle or shame? Well, maybe not shame, per se, but disappointment. Moreover, I guess you could say I had a moment of clarity. For the first time in a long time, I saw myself and someone I have known for years in a different, unsettling light. But at the very least, one of them is immediately changeable. The other will require some careful consideration.
Taking into consideration that, at that time, I had had about four beers, I will take some responsibility for the possibility of warping my perspective. There. That's done. Now, to continue, I will stop drinking beer for a while I think about this. On the surface this sounds like I'm only doing this for one day. Not at all. I propose to quit drinking altogether for about two weeks at the very least starting today. Done it before. I can do it again. This will undoubtedly curb my night time activities. (For those of you who know me, don't hate me for not being around much.) It's OK, though; It might even save me some money. Then I can take that extra cash and start on the things I've been putting behind for too long. This leads me to my own realization that I had let some things pass too long without doing anything about them. This is part two of the things I can change: get of my ass and getting back in control of my destiny. It's time to take a proactive approach to those parts of my environment that I can control. I don't really want to put some really attractive distractions to the wayside, but I have way too much pride to let things continue as they are at the moment.
Anyways, the following poem is one that I wrote while i was thinking about the other person and the light by which she became apparent. I won't go into details, but it was pretty startling as I have known this person for years. Normally, I really hate the idea of puttng my stuff online with the possibility of not getting credit or my ideas. I realize the agreement that Google makes you agree to when you get an account with them is just another way for another company to say "Hey, come check us out, but if you do we are going to steal your shit and not pay you for it. We will also use it in any way, regardless of context - disparaging or promotional - or not at all regardless of how you feel about it. Oh, by the way, you waive all your instrinsic rights as human beings and citizens of [Enter Country Here] by agreeing to this document." It seems to be pretty fairly common practice for all sorts of companies. This time, however, I don't feel particularly inclined to complain or have the energy to care about it right now.
Enjoy.
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The Broken Compass
There's no laughter I wish to find,
No confusion about the world,
No findings about the universe,
To make the toes begin to curl,
There's no order to my process,
No random to the entropy,
Simply a blanketing disappointment,
Boiling out from inside of me.
I reflect upon beginnings,
Of the inherent properties,
That became nothing more than nursery rhymes,
Of the phantom moralities,
And yet should this broken compass,
Pointing different for child and man,
Directs the quills staining legal parchment,
Without intentions for its hand.
Tell me when the identity,
Like caterpillars, grew their wings,
As butterflies, from the chrysalis flew,
Into a world of dif'rent things,
When did the sacred commandments,
And the intrinsic wrongs and rights,
Cease to be, ever again, recognized,
And cease our fires from burning bright.
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By the way, I realize I told you guys that there would be another music review on here. I just wanted to take a moment to say the following: Be patient. It's coming. I plan to try to address that this weekend.
Also, tune into the ongoing adventures of Dalmar this weekend as we discover another chapter in his quest to return to Draftengil and exact his long-awaited his vengeance against the evil wizard, Xander. Only in my other blog, Bucholera! Will he make it? Who can tell? Tune in!
Invino Veritas
8/19/11 (Happy Birthday, sis!)
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