The Indelicate Sound of Thunder

[Zeus, King of the Gods, lounges around the throne room in a state of despair
  and loss, plagued by boredom as he sighs over again while sipping ambrosia.
  Looking out the opening in the wall is his wife, Hera, Queen of the Gods.
  Hera has a scowl upon her face as she crosses her arms and stares a laser-
  guided line of sight out the window towards the ground and the land of 
  the mortals. ]

Zeus:  [Sighing] By my brother's mantle, Hera, I am bored! Struck am I as
          the belly of Uranus by Eris' morning light. Why, I'm so bored, I could
          simply....[Pauses]
Hera:  [Distracted] Hmm?
Zeus:  Hell, I don't know what I'd do to be quite honest. But it would be
          certainly either fantastic or tremendous - that I can assure you!
Hera:  Yes, dear. Tremendous. Me too.
Zeus:  Hera? Aren't you listening to me? I'm bored! In these last ten thousand
          or so years, I swear I have done everything! [Mumbling to himself]
          Atleast I think so....
Hera:  [Turning] Oh, quit being so morose, Zeus! Surely you haven't done
          everyone!
Zeus:  [Caught off-guard] Everyone?
Hera:  [Coyly] Hmm?
Zeus:  [Frustrated, waves his hands] Nevermind! It doesn't matter! I must
          have entertainment!
Hera:  You could always wash the chariot....
Zeus:  [Smirks]
Hera:  [Eggingly] Oh! I know!
Zeus:  What? What is it, woman!?
Hera:  You could mop the palace! 

[Zeus folds his arms angrily and stares at Hera as she incitefully smiles
 at him and bats her eyelashes at him.]


Zeus:  Oh, hardee har har. While I'm at it, I might as well prune the bushes!
Hera:  Well, I don't think we have to worry about that around here.
Zeus:  Damn right, Hera! You know why? Because I am the king of the...
          [Realizes Hera's doublespeak]..Hey! Wait a minute! That is not...
Hera:  [Sternly] Zeus! Listen to me! I have work to do. Go outside and play.
          Don't you have subjects? Go tend to them! I'm sure there's one that
          deserves your attention!
Zeus:  Fine! As you wish, my [Mockingly] Queen.
          [Exit Zeus]
Hera:  Finally!

[Hera sighs heavily and turns to the window, staring back down towards
 the ground below Mount Olympus. Occaisonally she makes gestures of
 arcane significance, seeming to smile devilishly as she is pleased with
 her handiwork.]

[Enter Hephaestus]

Hephaestus: Hera! As requested, mother, your golden bathing vessel is
          complete.
Hera:  [Rolls her eyes at the intrusion] Thank you, Hephaestus. There are
          no other requests of you right now. You may leave.
Hephaestus: I'll take my leave in that case.
          [Hephaestus moves towards the hallway, but is caught by Hera]
Hera:  [Stopping and turning] Hephaestus...?
Hephaestus: [Turning] Yes, mother?
Hera:  Hephaestus, tell me something? How is Aphrodite?
Hephaestus: How's that,  Hera? How's Aphrodite?
          [Hephaestus re-enters the room, approaching Hera]
Hera:  I mean are you two...happy? I mean, how do you and Aphrodite
          fare after these many years? Good, I hope?
Hephaestus: [Smiling] Mother, when I rise every morning it is Apollo's
          big brilliant orb there hanging in the sky, but to me I see only
          Aphrodite. She is the light that shines from my furnace's fire, the
          flame that dances over every setting and hilt that graces my foundry.
          It is because of that her visage never fades. She is always first when
          I rise and last when the day ends as I rest my head in Artemis' silver
          light. You want to know how we fare? I can only speak of myself as
          I am wary and know of nature, but I can say with certainty that I fare
          well, mother. I fare well.
Hera:  Son, I don't think you've ever told me that.
Hepheastus: Mother, I don't believe you've ever asked.
Hera:  [Tearing] Oh, my son....!
Hephaestus:  What is it, mother?
Hera:  I've been a fool, Hephaestus. I abandoned your father when he needed me. Now,
          knowing your father, I may very well have cut out my own heart with a dagger
          fit for his grip. No wonder he does te things that he does. All these years I thought
          that he did it to spite me or perhaps it was just his nature. But I see now my error.
Hephaestus:  Mother, it is true that love is an investment in someone other than yourself.
Hera:  When did you get so wise, Hephaestus?
Hephaestus: Wise? No, mother, not wise. I just had a good teacher, I guess.
          [Hephaestus smiles at Hera, embracing his mother]
Hera:  [Tearfully chuckling] Go, Hepheastus. Go home to your wife, and love her. And
          if you see your father, tell him...tell him don't worry about the chariot.
Hephaestus: What?
Hera:  Don't ask, he'll know what I'm talking about.
Hephaestus: Ok, mother. Be well.
          [Exit Hephaestus]

[Hera grabs a goblet of ambrosia, sipping occasionally and staring out the window
 with a distant stare. Her gaze seems a million miles away, but then shifts her line
 of sight, cursing and pointing a finger back down to the ground. He anger at the
 mortals below returns as she puts her goblet down and starts to gesture again.]

Hera:  Oh, no you don't, Peleus! I see you down there hiding in the bushes!
          [Makes a pointing gesture toward the world below as Zeus returns
           with a clap of thunder, arms akimbo and proud of himself; Enter Zeus.]
Zeus: [Brushing olive twigs and flower petals off his body] Ahh! Fantastic! Exhilarating! 
Hera:  [Startled] Zeus! Where did you come from?
Zeus:  Oh, my dove, you should have been there! There was dancing, music, something
          called 'Karaoke' --
Hera:  [Raises an eyebrow; Zeus takes notice]
Zeus:  I know! I was totally the same way! But all it is, dearest, is singing the songs of
          other people and gods. Sounds dumb, I know, but it can be quite fun. At first,
          I wasn't sure, but then I realized I was the best singer there! 
Hera:  [Sits on Zeus' lap and hugs him]
Zeus:  What's this? [Cautious] Wait a minute. What do you want me to do?
Hera:  Nothing, I swear! I'm just glad you're back.
Zeus:  Really?
Hera:  [Smiles and kisses him on the cheek] Promise, my king.
Zeus:  Well then, in that case, hail to the king, baby. Hail to the king.

[Fade to black]

Hera:  Zeus?
Zeus: Yes, my dear?
Hera:  Why do you smell like nymphs and dryads?

[End Act]


Invino Veritas
10/2/12
EOF