SETTING: Late 1800's America, Post-Industrial Revolution.
[Curtain opens to a scene just outside a bar. Loud, raucous sounds can be heard
emanating from within the bar. Several homes stand across the street, each with
a window closed to the street. One home has a small balcony where a young
woman sits on the rail drinking wine in her nightgown. ]
Lydia: Oh, how times have changed! You, Mr. Moon, sir, have lost your luster, and
you, wine, have gained a little with every year's passing.Quite dapper, you were,
Mr. Moon...once.And you! Over there! Mr. Star, what are you laughing at? Go
back to your luring of little girls into dreaming upon you! You have fared no better,
sir!
Belle: [From within the home.] Who are you talking to out there, Lydia?
Lydia: Nobody!
Belle: Then keep it down! It's too late for all that nonsense.
Lydia: [Sighing and rolling her eyes] Fine! [Pointing at the sky] Look what you two
have done. I got my eye on you. Keep making trouble, and I swear I will tell
everyone about your chicanery!
[The front door of the bar slams open; Horace is thrown into the street.]
Horace:Well, Teddy, at least ya' didn't throw me in that pile of offal this time.
[Put his hat back an as he tips it to the Teddy, the bouncer.]
Teddy: Once a week is good enough for any man, Horace. Now, go on and sleep it
off. We'll see ya t'morrow.
[Helps Horace to his feet]
Horace: Thanks, Teddy. You're one of the good ones. It's an honor to be bounced by
a lad such as ya'self. Tell Gertrude I didn't mean what I said about 'er belly
and 'er mole.
Teddy: Aye, Horace. I will. G'night, now. Run on home.
Horace: On me way now, sir. Until t'morrow then?
[Teddy nods and exits into the bar.]
You can tell 'er what I said about 'er arse, though if ya like!
[Sits on the steps and pulls out a bottle of liquor; looks at the sky and
toasts before taking a drink. Lydia looks at the stars once again,
pointing at them as before.]
To the stars! [Recites] Whether sky as clear or heaven's tears, no moon
was quite as fair, as the lady's cheek I saw last week, underneath a star
crossed glare! [Takes a drink and toasts again.]
And to me ma I do relate, the lady with the golden hair, and me broken
'eart did fall apart when I lost her at the fair!
[T\oasts to the moon and stands; Lydia begins to listen.]
Whaddya' say, Moon? How's about showin' me the way home - even
if it's not my home, at least, p'raps it's someone's!
Ava: [Opening and hanging out her window.] Shaddup down there! Oh, hey
there, Lydia. Sorry about the noise! What you doin' up so late?
Horace: Well, moo to you too, ya' ole' cow!
Lydia: Hey, Ava. Just a nip before bed, ya know.
Horace: [Shouting] And udders to match! [Normal tone]
Ava: Boy, don't I know it, Lydia! [To Horace] And YOU, down there! Don't
make me get the constable! Now, keep it down! [To Lydia] G'night,
dear. Have one for me, too, will ya'? [Closes window; Exit Ava]
Horace: There she goes! Back int' the barn! [Laughs.] Moo!
Lydia: Now, really, is all that completely necessary?
Horace: Oh, I'm sorry, your highness! Let us not spoil the princess' beauty rest...
Lydia: Thank you.
Horace: ...After all, you are obviously way behind on it already!
Lydia: You have no...HEY!
Horace: Ok, ok! I'm sorry. My apologies! That one's on me. Terribly sorry.
Lydia: Well...don't let it happen again!
Horace: Fine, but you really shouldn't leave yourself so open for such things.
Lydia: Oh, you horrid, man! Just leave! Go! Get out of here!
Horace: I was here first.
Lydia: You were not here first.
Horace Yes I was.
Lydia: No, you weren't!
Horace: Prove it.
Lydia: That big man from the bar over there...Teddy! He threw you out into
the street.
Horace: Yes, but he pretty much does that every night.
Lydia: Every night?
Horace: Well, not on Sundays. Church and all.
Lydia: Oh, I see. I suppose that makes sense. Much moreso than the past few
moments with you.
Horace: I do have that affect on people. I am a drunk, after all. Call it, inebriation
by association. Speaking of....could you spare some of that wine, perhaps?
Lydia: I think you've had enough for both of us.
Horace: Madam, I have not yet begun to drink! [Swings his arms, stumbles, and falls.]
Lydia: [Laughing] I guess that's what they mean by 'pride comes before a fall' !
Horace: Bah!
Lydia: Oh, you! Here. [Tosses the nearly-empty wine bottle to the street.]
Horace: [Standing and catching the wine bottle.] To m' lady, never a kinder soul was
she: [Clears his throat.] Blessed be my lady, for she is kind. Upon her fingertips
the feathers of God's chosen few are felt in her touch. Blessed be my lady, for she
is generous. As the spires of our Lord's temples radiate the light of his majesty, so
does her heart bring a charity rivaled only by his son. Blessed be my lady, for she
is temperant....
Lydia: Temperant?
Horace: Yes, temperant. Just go with it.
Lydia: Right!
Horace: [Clears his throat again.] Blessed be my lady, for she is temperant. As the edge
of Gabriel was created by his holiness, so, indeed must have she been for her
soul knows only that which is just and fair. [Bows to Lydia]
Lydia: [Clapping] Thank you, kind sir! Bravo!
Horace: But a small trifle, m' lady.
Lydia: I'm just glad you cut it off before we got to chastity.
[Realizes she probably shouldn't have said that.]
Horace: [Whistling] Well, then!
Lydia: Oh! Well, the moon is far lower on the horizon as when I began my wine...
Horace: Indeed, madam. [Tips his hat]
Lydia: G'night...umm, what's your name?
Horace: Horace, ma'am. Until t'morrow then.
[Exit Horace, whistling a tune as he walks away.]
Lydia: [Looking at the moon and stars again.]
You did this because I lectured you two earlier, didn't you? Well, I will
allow it to proceed for now, but should this lemon turn too sour for even
the likes of me, I'll give each of your secrets away!
[Scrupulously points at the moon and star separately.]
Now, behave, while I'm gone, you two.
[Exit Lydia]
[End Scene I]
[Fade to Black]
Invino Veritas
11/15/11
EOF
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