It's shaping up to be one of those crazy days, therefore I submit for your viewing pleasure and because I have to get this stuff out of my head somehow:
1. When chickens eat meat, what do they compare it to?
2. Despite what you may think, the seaside community of Phuket, Thailand is not
pronounced as "fuck it" contrary to popular belief. I was verily enlightened last
night at the Thai restaraunt.
3. So there's this 8 track car stereo for sale in the state for 50 bucks. I'm tempted
to buy it and roll up into work one day blasting some hi-fi goodness in the form
of something like Chicago IX or some classic KISS albums. Can you imagine
that? "Hey man! What's wrong?! You don't like the BEE GEES?!"
4. I shouldn't feel this good. Maybe it's the thai food I had last night because it sure
as hell wasn't the three shots of tequila, six beers, two shots of Jagermeister and
a shot of Rumplemintz that is making me feel this good today.
5. By the way, the answer to the followup question resulting from the above entry
is "No."
6. Is there anything else that comes in pilafs? Is rice the only thing that can be
described in terms of a pilaf? I don't ever recall having a pilaf of bean curd, or
maybe a pilaf of iron ore. In this case, if we just shortened the term 'rice pilaf' to '
pilaf' then, by default, it should uncondtionally refer to rice, right? In other words,
using the word 'rice' to describe a pilaf is really superfluous and even wordy.
7. Paging Mr. Orwell: white courtesy phone. Mr. Orwell, white courtesy phone.
8. It's comical to me how supposedly educated and intelligent people can describe
things or even interpret events and elements in their environments. For example, I
get into work today and the first service call I receive is to replace a tension spring
on a receipt printer. Ok, that's easy, but each service call should come with a
description of the problem from the client's own technician. The technician's
description is as follows: "Tension spring is missing and broken." Now, how in the
hell does he know the spring is broken if it's missing? He can only assume that it's
broken, but he cannot know for sure unless the spring was a.) not missing at one
time at the time it was no longer part of the printer, and b.) if he observed the
spring at that moment as being broken. For now, we'll ignore the other minor
assumptions.
9. People automate their thinking too often, methinks. Perhaps that's what makes it
so easy to pass the buck for some people. It's too easy to avoid the tough things
or the things that require higher or even greater amounts of mental effort. In all
fairness, though, you cannot be expeced to know and do everything. But a common
problem with this practice is we often miss crucial bis of information because we
mentally skip ahead to what we think is the next step. For example, in performing
repetitive or common tasks, it's too easy to stick an extra link in the chain of events.
doing this upsets the timing or the process of getting from one end of the chain to the
other. Imagine, if you will, that day after day you drive your car to work the same way.
After a few weeks, you may begin to not even remember certain points of the route
only because it has become so common place that your brain has filtered out the details
it feels is necessary. Ok, now the next day a cow walks across the road in a random act
of universal chaos. You are in your state of assumtion or automation, and BLAMMO!!
You hit the car because you weren't really paying attention. Is that your fault? Probably
not. You didn't consciously decide to filter out information. On the the other hand, you
weren't exactly spending the extra effort to delay, if not turn off, your filters. In that
respect, yes, it's your fault.
10. Ow! I just stuck a flathead screwdriver through the tip of my middle finger. I imagine
it will be fine with the amount of alcohol we use around here.
11. I have transcended mere mashed potatoes and gravy. In using french fries with gravy,
I have better control over the flow of the gravy while keeping with the time honored
tradition of potatoes and gravy. This could very well be the start of a beautiful
friendship, as it would be. This could be the beginning of a storied duet of epic
proportion, a mountain of power, an idyllic reprise of faith and devotion to all that is
tasty, a marriage made in heaven, or equivalent to a gallon of awesomesauce.
12. Yes, I just said 'awesomesauce'. Can you dig it?
13. Nope, we can't end on #13. Must move to #14 here.
14. And The Lord said, "14 shall be the number and no more nor no less shall the
number be. Wait I've got to take this. Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Yes. Yes. Not yet. Ok.
I got it. Ok, love you, too, Mom. Buh-bye. Ok, everybody, we're going to keep
going. Thanks for all your patience!"
15. I think the guy who played Bill S. Preston, Esquire in Bill & Ted's Excellent
Adventure should have had (more) lines in the movie The Lost Boys. Maybe.
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